Love Beyond Boundaries
On October 29, 2022, my sister’s husband of 40 years, Sami, died after a long and painful struggle with cancer. I was so moved by Sami’s perseverance in the face of the bureaucracy that is the current medical profession and in awe of the bravery and dedication of my dear sister, Susan, in helping him through these last years, but particularly the last two months.
But that’s not the story I want to tell. I want to tell not about the end of their relationship but about their relationship and about what that relationship suggests for the rest of us to admire and emulate.
Sami Abdul Fattah Assadi was born in Safed, Palestine. He was a man of the world—living in Palestine, Syria, Italy, and the United States. In 1948, because of the Nakba (The Palestinian Catastrophe), he and his family fled to Syria. At 17, Sami moved to Italy to study where he absorbed all things Italian, attaining language fluency characteristic of a native. In the 1970s, Sami moved to New York City where he drove a cab, sold shoes, and absorbed the life of Manhattan. One night in 1983, he met this beautiful, passionate, brilliant Jewish girl who was born in south Alabama but whose parents were displaced citizens of New York City. I believed her when she told me at the time and I believe her today: when they first set eyes on each other, they knew that they had met their soul mates. Forty years of marriage, life in the city and in Scottsdale where the desert reminded Sami of the landscape of his original homeland, a wonderful daughter, Hannah Lillith, and two beautiful granddaughters, Aurelia and Ciel, enriched his life. I remember vividly the great pride that exuded from Sami at Hannah’s graduation from Columbia University. the love in his eyes as he played with Aurelia and the look of awe as he gazed into the eyes of little Ciel, even close to the end when the disease had sapped his strength. And what he meant to my sister is beyond words.
Their story is the perfect antidote to the stupidity, cruelty, and violence we are seeing and reading in the news. Sami was fully aware of the political and social horrors around him. With his experience, how could he not be? But he also knew what really mattered; he loved beyond boundaries and without notice of other’s expectations or prejudice; he believed in peace and that there were shared values for humanity. My sister echoed all those beliefs and feelings; they were in fact soul mates. We should all aspire to such a love, and we should honor what they created.
Lovely story. So I sorry it had to end.
Thanks for acknowledging the power in the story.
Thanks Bobby for deeming ‘our’ story important to others. I only hope our 40 years together which went by in a flash will mean something to ‘others’ who struggle to cross boundaries.
It is am important story–to me and to all who love you, but it is also important to others who are sensitive to what it means to be human.
This is the most compelling and beautiful blog you have have ever written. It is filled with compassion and emotion. Syl and I so appreciate its multiple heartfelt messages. xoxo
Thank you, Al. Their story was (is) such a lesson in compassion and love.
Beautiful Bobby. Romeo & Juliette. Love conquered the boundaries of ethnicity & religion. What a lesson for this fraught era.
Indeed. And we saw it up close and personal.
Thank you Bobby for sharing the uplifting and joyous story of Sami and Susan. With heartfelt thoughts for all of you with the loss of Sami and for cherished memories to sustain you all. Love Wendy
Lovely
Thank you so much. It is a wonderful love story.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful love story
Thank you. He will be missed.